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Thursday, 17 June 2010

Shits and Gigs

So, here we are; blogging our heads off.

Myspace is rubbish and that link doesn't seem to work now so we're going the double B (blog and bandcamp) route. That's progression, dudes.

For the last few days we've been scooting about some cities in England with three angels from Falmouth called Tall Ships.

I am now going to relay memories from brain to blog. Carl, if the grammar and punctuation is incorrect, I apologise.

Friday, went to Brighton. Got stuck in a traffic jam at Thetford, for 2 1/2 hours. Carl bought a TomTom. No soundcheck. I think we played well but I didn't sing very well. Sometimes I don't. Only saw a couple of Tall Ships songs, the room was packed for them and Grubbs burgers were too great a prospect to ignore. Mike was honest with someone. Went home after because the England squad were playing a game as part of the World Medal of Soccer tournament so no concert was booked.

On Saturday, I can't vouch for Carl or Mike, but I played Skate 3 all day.

Sunday afternoon, left for London. Would you believe it, got stuck in Thetford again! Got to London eventually. No soundcheck. Saw friends. Lots of people there. We were crap. We couldn't even talk our way out of that one. We were really bad. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Stayed at Sunbury Travelodge which is a fantastically equipped, newly built Travelodge.

Monday, went to Thorpe Park. 'Saw - The Ride' was excellent, 'Saw Alive - Live Action Horror Maze' was not. The maze is not a maze, it is a series of dark rooms through which punters have to awkwardly do the conga with strangers whilst being tickled by people pretending to be poorly. Nemesis Inferno was fantastic. Colossus was an excellent legs-downer, nice length. Pizza Hut buffet, reasonably priced. Reminded me a bit of a jumble sale. A jumble sale of pizza. My kind of jumble sale. Mike ate loads. Carl didn't eat his crusts but had much more variety than Mike and I. I was disappointed that tea was not on offer as a drink. I spilt a whole cup of 7Up (was disgusting anyway) because the paper cups were of a weight I was unfamiliar with, so we bailed. I hadn't spilt a drink in years. Stealth was the highlight. Ride assistant Sarah told us the indoor 'coaster was shit so we didn't bother with that. Had tea, during which we debated, at great length, the pros and cons of leaving after the aforementioned tea or going back and going on the Saw ride again. We left. Drove to Southampton, met Tom who was a fantastic promoter and a lovely man. Thanks Tom. We played and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Others seemed to enjoy it too, which was good. Tall Ships were excellent. Grown Ups and Into It.Over It. arrived, they were fantastic people AGAIN and made us laugh an awful lot. Both their concerts were a joy to watch. Carl taught them the international sign for pouring boiling water from a great height to make a nicer cup of tea. We talked about lots of lovely things including how pretty and magical cats are. Met Chase, an excellent man. Rumours about going to play in America next year. Went to Subway because it had a free tea refill offer on, had tea with Chase and Evan. Talked about whether U2 are better than The Get Up Kids' output after 'Something...'. Inconclusive. They left. We went to the Travelodge. Had to leave our car full of very expensive objects on a road and dreamt about it being stolen by a nasty man. Great dream. Terry Travelodge messed the bookings up so we got a double room each! All slept diagonally in double beds and got three times as much tea as usual.

Tuesday, went to Cardiff. Beautiful city, lovely weather. Mike spent the morning recovering from an accidental retweet. Planned to enjoy tea and cake with Tall Ships but didn't. The venue was incredible. Messed around and shot the shit with Tall Ships all afternoon. Went to a music shop, Mike fictionally bought a Gibson SG bass. The specification of the earplugs on offer was insufficient for Tall Ships because they're too heavy. Soundcheck. This was my favourite performance (of ours) of the whole thing. This is how we should play all the time but it doesn't work like that. I think Rick from Tall Ships agreed with me that it was the best one. Really felt that we presented some of our songs in a positive way. Jen the promoter put on a lovely spread including a really nice cake made by her nan who likes Dinosaur Jr. Carl accused me of being Elwood from the Blues Brothers because I ate a piece of bread with nothing on it. We hashed an interview and sounded like dickheads, so enjoy reading that. Spoke to Swansea based cycle enthusiast, Jack, who told us a story of how Chris Hoy once challenged him to a race up a hill and how Hoy sabotaged his bike by pouring sand in the frame. Throughout the whole conversation I had the image of Chris Choi (the newsreader) in my head. Early finish. Tall Ships wanted to go and film an amateur episode of Booze Britain (narrated by Morgan Freeman) but we didn't. I don't think they did either. They stayed at Jen's and washed up everything she owns, including her nan. Went to the Travelodge. New build. There was, what we assumed to be, a hardcore band playing unruly street soccer in the car park. Kelly Rowland was on Graham Norton, she claps like a seal and wears the clothes of a twat. Graham Norton says a lot of things as if they are sexual innuendos but they aren't at all. He's either really clever, knows more about sex acts than me or takes advice from Kelly Rowland's clothes. I'll opt for the latter.

Wednesday, went to Birmingham. Really hot day. Parked behind Tall Ships, were concerned about the car being full of expensive things again and debated at great length again about whether it was safe to leave it there until the venue opened or not as, nearby, there were two unsavouries drinking orange squash. We took a gamble and went to meet Tall Ships at the International Food Fair in the nice part of Birmingham. The sun was too bright for me, earned a thick head. Tall Ships were leathered on German beer, they had been there since 9am. Carl used some of Rick's surf-approved sun cream. Matt said that the girl from Paramore is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen in is whole entire life (and he's been to a Katie Price book signing) and that he wanted to marry her. We said that he stood no chance as he doesn't use Twitter. All wandered back to the venue. Half watched the World Shield final, skim read a local music magazine. Loaded in. Tested the sound of the things. Ria also put on a lovely spread but hid it in a room under the stairs, sadist. We played, I don't think I sang too well again, must work on that. We weren't mind bendingly incredible but that was largely due to technical problems. This was a shame because it was the finale. Tall Ships were mind bendingly incredible. Jamie moshed into the crowd like a crazy loon and did a drum roll for ages. Met Kay from, she has printed some sleeves for us. Loaded out. Pissed off.

So that was it. Over in a flash. No sooner had Tall Ships entered our lives, they had left again like a holiday romance.

To summarise: I can remember Wednesday much better than I can last Friday, lots of tea, lots of talking rubbish, some great sets, at least one shit set, friends, Travelodges, services, soft water areas, meeting wonderful people, driving, listening to Karate and The Replacements, packing the car, unpacking the car. A nice time.

Tall Ships really are a great band. If you haven't heard them and you like Tortoise, Tristeza, that Misery is a Butterfly album by Blonde Redhead (if it were a lot happier), The Sea and Cake etc then you would probably like them.
They know what they're doing and they think about it. That's for sure.

Thank you to everyone who made the effort to leave their homes to come and see us. Thank you to the Freebutt, Jen, Tom, Ria and Kev for making the effort to organise concerts, we appreciate it more than we probably make known at the time. I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. Thank you to Tall Ships for letting us use their Tre Cool signature and related expensive objects, for listening to us talk absolute drivel and for entertaining us. Lets do it again some time.